can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
