If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
