C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
