Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
