I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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