i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
