just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
