She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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