So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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