I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize