i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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