Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
