Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
