it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
