no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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