The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
