Dual....:-)
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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