I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
