This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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