he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
