Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it wasn't lemon gatorade
no, he came in my armpit
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize