"it" just moved
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize