Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
