ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
