My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
