May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
