A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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