I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
