So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize