Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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