Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
