at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
