Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize