We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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