Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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