PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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