I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
