You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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