Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
