I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
