I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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