I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
