Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
