he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
