Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
