right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
