I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
