Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
