god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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