My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
