Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
