Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't put those talents on a resume
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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