Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
