escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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