I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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