JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
