You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
