when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
