Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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