We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
