Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need water and some morals
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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