dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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