Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
