New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
