i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
