when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
