You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
