I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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