just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
