I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
