Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
