i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
