and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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